Vegas take another close one

Vegas moved to 9-0 in one-run games with a 2-1 victory over the Sugar Bears yesterday. Rat Pack starter Erik Bedard held the Sugar Bears to just 3 hits and one unearned run over 6 innings, while striking out 8. Carlos Marmol nailed down his 10th save of the season with a scoreless 1.2 innings. Chien-Ming Wang, who had previously received incredible amounts of run support, took his first loss despite pitching seven solid innings. Replacement second baseman Mark Grudzielanek was 1-3 with an RBI.

Tampa Bay came back from a 6-2 deficit to squeak by the Hoboken Cutters 7-6. James Loney tied the game with an RBI single in the eighth and then the Plunkers took the lead for good when Pat Burrell walked with the bases loaded. Kevin Gregg pitched three scoreless innings for the win. The Plunkers have now won 8 of their last 11.

The Sardines rallied for two runs in the ninth inning to take a 7-5 victory over the Mighty Men, tying them for last place once again. Ken Griffey hit a 2-run pinch homer off Randy Wolf to give the Straphangers the lead.

Vancouver's Zack Greinke and Blue Ridge's Aaron Harang battled to a 1-0 Vancouver win. Greinke pitched 6.1 innings of 4-hit ball while striking out 8 Bombers. Harang pitched eight innings, giving up one run on 6 hits and 9 strikeouts. Todd Helton's solo homer in the sixth was all the offense the two teams could muster.

D.C. pounds Buddahs

D.C. unloaded on Team Buddah yesterday to the tune of an 18-4 drubbing. The Slappers totalled 20 hits, scoring all but one run in the first five innings. Starter Tom Gorzelanny took most of the damage, surrendering 12 runs (10 earned) and 10 hits in just 3.1 innings. Sammy Sosa and Carl Crawford were both 4-6 and Carlos Beltran had 2 HRs and 5 RBIs in the contest. Derrek Lowe won his 3rd game while pitching six innings of three-hit ball and striking out 7.

Marietta opened up their Battle of the Basement series against Sardine City with a 2-1 squeaker. Micah Owings was lost for the better part of a month, but the Mighty bullpen did a fine job to limit the Sardines to only one unearned run on 11 hits and struck out 9 Hangmen. Cole Hamels took the hardluck loss, pitching 6.1 innings and striking out 8. B.J. Upton was 3-5 in the game and raised his average to a league-leading .393.

Sardine City squeezes out twin wins

The Straphangers took two games from the Falcons yesterday, becoming the final DMBL team to earn its 10th victory of the season. The Straphangers are now tied with the Mighty Men for 13th overall. An Alex Rodriguez error in the seventh inning of the first game gave the Sardines a 3-2 victory. The two teams both made costly errors - both teams only gave up one earned run each - forcing both starters to accept a no-decision despite solid performances. In game two, Fausto Carmona pitched six shutout innings to earn his second win of the year. Ryan Braun and B.J. Upton hit back-to-back homers in the fourth to give the Hangmen a 2-1 win.

The Falcons were so frustrated by the lack of offense that they ripped up the roster and jettisoned outfielder Joey Gathright, catcher Brad Ausmus, and second baseman Mark Ellis. In their place, the Falcons signed DMBL veteran second bagger Luis Castillo, recent Hillsborough castoff Ryan Ludwick, and catcher Yorvit Torrealba, who was with Marietta earlier this year.

Randy Johnson struck out 13 Hitmen in seven innings en route to a 5-1 win for the Sugar Bears, completing a 4-game sweep. Newark is now 19-0 in the Cereal Bowl this season.

New This Week in DMBL coming up later tonight...

Blog Bits:

Chipper Jones hit his ninth HR of the season Saturday, No. 350 for his career, moving past Jeff Bagwell into 11th place. Vlad Guerrero is right behind him, tied with Bagwell, and recently surpassed Larry Walker at 348, 14th overall.

In pitching, John Smoltz matched David Wells for ninth all-time in games started at 315. He also snapped a tie with Mike Mussina for wins, earning his 162nd victory, 8th all time.

Straphangers break hex

Yesterday was a day for poorly-starting pitchers to redeem themselves.

Sardine City broke their long losing streak yesterday with a 4-2 victory over Blue Ridge. Cole Hamels, who had struggled so far this season, pitched six innings and allowed only one earned run, but did not factor into the decision. B.J. Upton scored the winning run in the eighth after leading off the inning with a double, then advancing on a wild pitch. Team owner Greg Calvosa said they found the cause of their struggles - a Chipper Jones jersey buried in the dirt just outside the dugout in their stadium.

Hillsborough and New Jersey threw out two of their slumping starters against each other, so you'd expect a 2-1 pitcher's duel, right? Tom Gorzelanny pitched a complete game, giving up only one earned run on seven hits and striking out 11. But that wasn't good enough! Justin Verlander pitched a solid 7.2 innings, only giving up one run, and striking out 7. He did not figure into the decision. The Hitmen ended up winning the game in the eighth when Billy Butler hit an RBI-double to take the lead.

Vancouver won their eighth straight game and completed the sweep of Hoboken with an 11-4 win yesterday. Chase Utley was 4-5 and Mike Lowell hit two homers and drove in four to lead the 18-hit onslaught.

Finally, A.J. Burnett pitched a 3-hit shutout of the D.C. Bushslappers to improve to 4-0 on the season. Burnett struck out nine and walked four in the effort. The Pack held their one game lead over the Philadelphia Endzone Animals for the best record in the league.

DMBL Site glitches, Butch suspected

Yes, the league's site has been experiencing technical difficulties in the past 24 hours. Problems began yesterday morning when security guards at the league's main server facility witnessed a pair of shady characters wearing blue and yellow apparel leaving the compound. The site was restored in the afternoon then went down again. Once again guards found strange evidence inside the compound - a "Nation of Butchlam" logo was spray-painted on one of the walls. Late last night the site was once again restored, but it was a short-lived resurrection. As of this posting, the site is still down. Police reported pulling over a vehicle with Billy Spiers, Jim Eisenreich, Mike Caruso, and Jeff DaVanon inside. None of the four accomplices would cooperate. The DMBL has tasked George Mitchell to investigate into the matter.

Some quick notes on yesterday's games... Arkansas completed their sweep of Newark yesterday, marking one of the bigger upsets in this young season. The Falcons scored nine runs in the final three innings to take a one-run victory over their bitter rivals...Jake Peavy, still enjoying his box of JR Cigars from last week, pitched a dominating one-hit, 12-strikeout game against the Cutters. "Next week, I'd like some Montecristos please" said Peavy on his way to the dugout after the game...Sardine City continued their slide with their 11th straight loss.

Falcons stun Sugar Bears

For the second straight game, the Falcons have knocked off the Sugar Bears. After winning 10-4 Monday, the Falcons continued with an 11-8 win yesterday. Kevin Kouzmanoff and Miguel Olivo of all people led the Falcon offense with three hits each. Both starters were out by the fourth inning, but it was the Sugar Bears' usually reliable bullpen that failed them, particularly Joaquin Benoit, who surrendered four runs in 2.1 innings and took the loss. Arkansas sends Ian Snell to the mound today to try for the sweep against Chien Ming Wang. Though Wang has seemed invincible so far this season, did anyone think that the Falcons stood a prayer of winning with Wandy Rodriguez on the mound?

Vegas' eight-game winning streak was snapped as the Bushslappers won by a 5-2 count. John Maine was shaky but pitched out of several jams to earn the W, while Carlos Beltran delivered with 3 RBIs. Carlos Pena tied the league lead with his 13th homer for the Rat Pack.

Vancouver won their sixth straight with a 5-1 decision over Hoboken. Greg Maddux pitched 5.2 innings of shutout ball to win his third. Hoboken had hoped to get Joe Beimel into the game before they released him but they thought that putting him into a losing situation might damage his psyche. "Joey just hates losing and coupling that with cutting him could make him lose it" said manager Wally Backman. Beimel pitched briefly for Vancouver last season.

Dustin McGowan made a triumphant return from injury, limiting the slumping Straphangers to only one run and four hits in 7.1 innings. The Straphangers' loss extended their losing slide to 10 games.

Vegas courts Lady Luck

The Rat Pack won a 6-5 decision over the Bushslappers in 11 innings, taking their eighth straight. The interesting thing about the victory is that it brings the Rats' record in one-run games to an astounding 8-0, by far the best in the league. Only Philadelphia is also undefeated in one-run games, but they are only 3-0. Carolina is second in one-run victories with 6, but they also have 6 losses. The Rats also lead the league in extra-innings wins with 3 (out of 3 games). These stats usually indicate a large amount of luck, but with the Rats you can't really be sure. Time will tell if the ball bounces the other way in the Pack's future.

Tampa Bay looks back on track after picking up their third straight victory, a 9-6 stunner over the Philadelphia Endzone Animals. Pat Burrell and Torii Hunter each had 3 hits and 2 RBIs to lead the Plunkers to victory.

Meanwhile, the Straphangers dropped their ninth straight game, a 5-3 setback to Blue Ridge. Daisuke Matsuzaka, despite having a solid season so far, dropped to 1-5 on the year after 7.2 mediocre innings. The Sardines jumped out to an early 3-0 lead but slowly saw their lead erode, eventually tied in the fifth inning. Prince Fielder drove in the winning run in the bottom of the eighth and the Bombers tacked on an insurance run. Russ Springer entered to close the game out and despite being a bit wild (12 pitches, 5 strikes), the Sardines were shut down.

Joel Pineiro made his last start for the Cutters - at least for the time being - and was given his outright release. The Cutters resigned Joe Beimel, who had been cut to make room for Pineiro, to a special one-day contract. "We feel bad that Joe didn't get into a game last time" said manager Wally Backman. "We'll try harder this time around." Beimel is expected to be released when Aaron Cook is eligible to come off the DL tomorrow.

Vancouver trounces Marietta

Vancouver laid the smackdown on Marietta over the weekend, sweeping a 4-game set in dramatic fashion. In the four games, Vancouver outscored the Mighty Men by a 51-17 margin, scoring at least 10 runs in each game. Vancouver evens their season record at 14-14, while Marietta dropped their fifth straight game and fell behind Team Buddah.

Arkansas's Jeremy Bonderman had been roughed up all season long, but in yesterday's second game, he pitched a 6-game shutout of New Jersey. The win was the first or the season for Bonderman, who also struck out nine in the game. Alex Rodriguez was 4-4 with 2 RBIs in the game and Mark Ellis also had two hits.

Blue Ridge and Newark battled to an 11-10 final, with the Sugar Bears winning. Blue Ridge was clinging to a one-run lead going into the final inning, but Newark rallied to tie and then win the game on a Chipper Jones single. After a high-scoring game like that, both teams appeared tired in the second match, as the two teams combined for six runs in a 4-2 win by Newark. Ted Lilly did his best to keep the Sugar Bear lineup in check (5 IP, 3 H, 1 ER), but his counterpart, John Smoltz, pitched equally well (5.2 IP, 4 H, 1 ER, 7K). Once again, Chipper Jones gave his team the lead with a 2-run single.

Several players, especially catchers, returned from injury over the weekend. Newark regained Yadier Molina, Las Vegas welcomed back Joe Mauer, and Kurt Suzuki returned to Sardine City. Pitcher Shawn Hill was activated from D.C.'s disabled list.

Buddah catches fire

Team Buddah won their third straight game 4-1 over Blue Ridge yesterday, the longest winning streak of the season for the team. Shane Victorino was 4-4 and Melky Cabrera was 3-3. Starter Jesse Litsch improved to 2-3 on the season with an 8-inning, 5-hit performance.

Tampa Bay, who jumped out to a surprising start, has now come back down to earth, losing their fourth straight and falling into a fifth-place tie with Hoboken. This time the Plunkers dropped a 3-2 decision in 10 innings to the Mudcats. Paul Konerko, who finished 4-5 on the night, hit an RBI single in the 10th to win the game for the Cats.

Las Vegas gave up on prospect Matt Antonelli yesterday and re-signed pitcher Gavin Floyd to a minor league deal. Floyd was a non-roster invitee in spring training for the Rats, but was released before the season started. Floyd's impressive showing in an independent minor league caught Las Vegas' scouting department's eye.

Dice-K loses no-no bid in ninth

Daisuke Matsuzake came up just short of a no-hitter against the Bushslappers yesterday. In fact he held D.C. to only one hit after all was said and done. And he still lost. That's because the one hit was a solo home run by Adrian Beltre to lead off the ninth. Oh yeah, D.C.'s Shawn Marcum was also busy holding the Sardines to only five hits in 8.1 shutout innings. Dice-K also struck out nine and gave up one walk, while falling to 1-4 on the season.

Carolina unleashed their fury on the Plunkers yesterday to the tune of a 17-3 thrashing. Ryan Garko, freshly rested after his recent injury, was 4-5 with 5 RBIS and Grady Sizemore was also 4-5. Aramis Ramirez and Jeff Francoeur each had 3 RBIs. Amazingly, the Mudcats only hit one home run, by Johnny Estrada, who was subbing in for the injured Mike Redmond. The Cats ended up with 19 total hits.

Marietta ended Hillsborough's six-game winning streak yesterday with a 2-0 blanking by John Lester. Lester pitched a complete game 2-hitter, walking two and striking out one. Like Sardine City, Hillsborough's John Lackey pitched well in defeat (8 IP, 2 ER, 5 H), but it wasn't enough. Casey Kotchmann drove in both runs for Marietta on a solo homer and an RBI single.

Sardine City suffers big losses

Hoboken scored five runs in the first inning against Arkansas and then kicked it into auto-pilot the rest of the way. Luckily for them, it was enough, escaping with a 5-4 win. Hanley Ramirez was 4-4 with two doubles and two RBIs. Miguel Cabrera was 0-5 and ended his league-high 16-game hitting streak. He may not be on top for long as David Wright extended his 15-game streak with a 1-4 night.

Sardine City took a tough 16-3 loss, but they ended up losing even more. Rookie hurler Phil Hughes was lost for a month with an undisclosed injury. Scott Baker seems to be the likely replacement, but the Straphangers haven't issued a public statement yet.

Mariano Rivera made his 800th appearance for the Mighty Men. Unfortunately for them, he ended up taking the loss - a 5-4 squeaker to Hillsborough. The Hitmen have now won six straight and have moved up to second in the Morris Division and fourth overall (though in a weird scheduling quirk, they actually are percentage points behind 5th place Tampa Bay).

The Buddahs took out their offensive frustrations on Blue Ridge yesterday. Tied up at five and going into extra innings, the Buddahs scored six runs in the top of the frame and won 11-6. It was the second highest-scoring game of the season for New Jersey. Kazuo Matsui, entering the game for starter Ty Wigginton, was 3-3 with 3 RBIs, and Shane Victorino was 3-6 with 2 doubles.

D.C. breaks hex, Webb stymies Sugar Bears

D.C. finally broke the streak yesterday with a 5-3 victory over Sardine City. They had to look to outside the organization for the win, as Justin Germano picked up the win in relief of the Shawn/Sean combo. Matt Kemp had a homer and 3 RBIs to lead the Slapper offense.

Philadelphia asserted some dominance over the Sugar Bears yesterday, blanking the defending champs 6-0. Brandon Webb held the potent lineup to only three hits in a complete game, the first time the Sugar Bears have been shut out all year (hmmm were they shut out last year?)...

Team Buddah was shut out for the fifth time this year, this time by Aaron Harang and the Blue Ridge Bombers. Harang pitched 7.2 innings of 3-hit ball and struck out 7.

Tuesday Blog Bits
Jim Thome's home run in Vegas' 11-7 win yesterday moved him into a second-place tie with Sammy Sosa at 436 for his career. Thome only needs 200 or so more to tie Barry Bonds for first place (642)!...Manny Ramirez collected his 2000th career hit last week and hasn't played since. His teammate Chipper Jones also collected his 2000th last week, but he's not in the manager's doghouse...Mariano Rivera's next appearance will be his 800th...Vancouver's Greg Maddux is two strikeouts shy of 2000, which would make him the sixth player to reach the mark.

Hitmen exterminate Rat Pack

The D.C. Bushslappers' slide has now reached eight games, dropping them to fourth in the Morris Division and eighth overall. The Slappers gave a good fight over the weekend to the Hanover Division leading Newark Sugar Bears, but their pitching staff could not contain the Newark juggernaut. They came close to winning in Sunday's first game - an 11-10 squeaker. D.C. actually jumped out to a 6-2 lead, but they gave up eight runs in the 5th innings. Newark tacked on another run later, but the Slappers weren't done. D.C. came up just short in the ninth, scoring four runs, but Carl Crawford struck out with the bases loaded to end the game. In the second game, D.C. scored 12 runs, which should be good enough to win, but they gave up 16 runs to the Sugar Bears.

Has anyone been surprised by how Hillsborough absolutely owned the Rat Pack over the weekend? After running away with the season, losing only a pair of games to the Sugar Bears, the Rat Pack was looking unbeatable. Until they met Hillsborough. The Hitmen won a close one on Friday, but dominated Saturday in a 12-0, 4-hit blanking. Then Sunday, the Pack was held in check by C.C. Sabathia in game one and then lost in a close 7-5 second game. The Rats have now slipped into second place in the Hanover and third place overall.

Slappers get slapped

D.C. kept falling to new lows, this time losing 12-0 to the punchless Team Buddah. Joe Blanton pitched seven shutout innings, giving up only five hits to win his first of the year - this despite a 2.40 ERA. Buddah shook up their lineups a day ago after team owner Mike Hornick gave an inspirational locker room speech. Josh Fields, who was 3-5 with 4 RBIs, said the talk gave him the drive to score more runs. "We were all wearing WWBD wristbands" said Fields..."what would Buddah do? Indeed..." Meanwhile, D.C.'s luck could not be any worse as starter Sean Marshall, who was picked up to start in place of injured starter Shawn Hill, was hurt in the first inning. "I don't know what we'll do" said owner Jamie Landsman. "We're running out of possible Shawns." Shawn Chacon and Shawn Camp are eagerly awaiting a phone call. D.C. has now lost seven of their last eight.

Since we're on the topic of lopsided wins, Philly one-upped the Buddahs by shellacking Hillsborough 16-0. Matt Cain pitched 8.2 innings and surrendered only 4 hits, while striking out 7. On the offensive side, Gary Sheffield had 2 homer and 4 RBIs. The Animals scored 11 runs in the final three innings.

Sardine City's Phil Hughes won his first DMBL career victory after holding the Mighty Men to 2 runs and 3 hits in 6.1 innings. B.J. Upton was 4-6 with 3 runs and 2 stolen bases and Raul Ibanez was 3-5 with 3 RBIs.

Moises Alou had 6 RBIS and was 3-6 to lead Vancouver to a 15-6 blowout win over Blue Ridge. Vancouver scored 11 runs in the final two innings, particularly inflicting damage on reliever Trevor Hoffman (2/3 inning, 6 earned runs, 6 hits, 1 walk). Alou now has a 13-game hitting streak, the second longest active streak.

The Rat Pack held on to a 6-5 win over Newark, getting some revenge for the two-game sweep when the Rats last visited Newark. Most of the scoring happened early on in the game - the game was tied at five from the fourth inning on. But in the ninth inning, Placido Polanco led off with a double, then Matt Holliday hit a double to drive Polanco in for the win.

Rat Pack looks invincible

Carolina continued crushing the Morris Division leaders, this time abusing the Bushslappers 11-5. Paul Konerko hit his second homer in as many days and Dustin Pedroia hit a 2-run dinger and drove in 3 runs to lead the Mudcats. It was the third straight loss for D.C. and their sixth in their last seven games.

The Rat Pack has been mowing down the competition all season, except for the short speed bump when they played at Newark. Otherwise, the Rat Pack has been perfect this season. Yesterday the Pack won their 5th straight game by an 11-3 margin over the Straphangers - the second straight game by that score. Break up the Rat Pack? If they beat Newark the next time...maybe!

Miguel Cabrera went 2-3 with a home run and extended his 14-game hitting streak, leading the Cutters to a 6-2 win over the first-place Endzone Animals. Aaron Cook, the starter for Hoboken, left early with an injury and will miss the next two weeks. Hoboken is unsure yet who will replace him in the rotation, but is thinking about reaching back into their own history for a replacement. Joel Pineiro and Carlos Silva have both gotten calls to their agents, but Hoboken Cutters owner Mark Hrywna said that Jae Seo should not get his hopes up just yet. "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, shame on Seo" said Hrywna in a phone conversation.

Shakeup in Hillsborough

The Hillsborough Hitmen shook up their roster yesterday after mediocre results in the first two weeks of the season. The Hitmen placed injured first baseman Dmitri Young on the disabled list and released Ryan Spilborghs and Bengie Molina. Spilborghs was 1-9 in four games and Molina was 1-10. The Hitmen picked up outfielder Ryan Ludwick, cut from Vancouver's roster before the season started to take Young's place. Former South Boston Gang backstop Ramon Hernandez was signed to take over catching duties, and DMBL veteran Mike Cameron will take over in the outfield.

Carlos Pena's 4 RBIs led the Rat Pack to a decisive 11-3 victory over the Plunkers. Tampa starter Jered Weaver was pounded for 7 runs in 1.1 innings. Every player in the Rat Pack lineup got at least one hit, and only two of them didn't have at least two. Starter Chris Young and reliever Francisco Rodriguez combined for 16 strikeouts in the game.

Philadelphia's 8-game winning streak came to an end at the hands of fraternal rival Carolina, 5-1 yesterday. Tim Hudson held the Animals to one run and four hits in 8.1 innings. Paul Konerko, subbing in for injured Ryan Garko, got his first hit of the season - a two-run homer in the fifth of Johan Santana.

Fausto Carmona rebounded from injury and a putrid start with a solid outing against Team Buddah yesterday. The Straphangers routed the Buddahs by a 10-4 margin. Kevin Youkilis hit a three run homer and Ryan Theriot hit a bases-loaded triple to lead the Sardine City offense.

Animals tally eighth straight

The Endzone Animals won their eighth straight after a 5-1 shutdown of Vancouver yesterday. Jason Bergmann held the Fist to one run on six hits in seven innings. Magglio Ordonez's three-run homer in the first inning off Jake Peavy gave the Animals the early lead. Peavy struggled in the first, walking two of the first three batters before the homer, but settled in and pitched seven innings, but took his first loss of the year.

New Jersey's Jesse Litsch held the Tampa Bay Plunkers to only three hits and one run in seven innings to earn his first win of the year. Adam LaRoche was 3-4 with a homer and Josh Fields was also 3-4 to lead the Buddah "offense" to the 2-1 win. It was the ninth time (out of 15 games) that the Buddahs were held to less than 3 runs. Jeff Francis pitched a complete game in defeat, surrendering only two runs and nine hits.

Newark once again pounded away on their opponents. This time Marietta was the recipient of a 19-3 drubbing. Chien-Ming Wang once again received a ridiculous amount of run support from the Sugar Bear bats. After only receiving eight runs in support of his first start, Wang got 22 against Sardine City, 18 against Vegas, and now 19 against Marietta. Randy Johnson and Javier Vazquez each had one game of double-digit run support, but other than that the Bears were relatively held in check. "Wang was feeling all down in the dumps before the season after losing to the other pitchers in a poker tournament" said team captain Chipper Jones, "so this is our way of making it up to him."

Injuries pile up

It's been a rough weekend for the DMBL, but a good weekend for the team doctors. Five players went down with injuries that will keep them out for the better of two weeks. Carolina lost first baseman Ryan Garko, but they figure Paul Konerko sounds almost the same and fans will never tell the difference.

Meanwhile Joe Mauer and Yadier Molina collided in the field in a strange play. Molina appeared to bobble a throw home to get Mauer. When Molina went down to pick up the ball, he lunged into a sliding Mauer, causing all sorts of carnage on the field. Vegas manager and owner Eric Wickstrom protested, calling it a cheap shot by Newark's "goon", accusing Molina of purposely taking out Mauer. "It's just more cheating by Garretson's Goons" said Chone Figgins, who was running the bases during the play. "Of course it was a scrub that took out Mauer, not one of the stars! How convenient!" While Molina objected to being called a "scrub", it was pointed out to him that in fact, yes, he was a scrub. "I stand corrected" Molina apologized on the way to the ER.

D.C.'s Shawn Hill will miss at least two starts after leaving in the first inning of Saturday's game against Blue Ridge. Hill will be replaced by Sean Marshall, who was released by the Bushslappers prior to opening day. "We have to keep up our quota of Seans in the rotation" said team owner Jamie Landsman.

Finally, Hillsborough lost first baseman Dmitri Young for two weeks after Young slid awkwardly trying to score. "I saw what [Plunker catcher Kenji Johjima] was doing..." said an irate Young after the game. "He tried to Yadier me." When asked about the play, Johjima said that he definitely did not try to Yadier the first baseman. "I couldn't possibly Yadier him. I'm not a scrub" he stated via translator.

Buddahs drop 9 in a row, Rats lose first

The Buddahs were so full of hope after winning their opening day matchup, but things have gone very sour since then. Team Buddah has now lost their 9th straight game after a 4-3 nailbiter to the Morris-leading D.C. Bushslappers. In the nine game skid, the Buddahs have been shut out three times and have scored more than 3 runs only once. New Jersey faces Hoboken tomorrow - the only team that they have beaten thus far - and then they face Marietta Sunday, so maybe they'll break that slide yet...

Roy Halladay shut out the Falcons yesterday in a 6-hit complete game. For Halladay it was his first win of the season. Halladay moved into the top 10 in career shutouts, tied with Andy Pettitte. Grady Sizemore's 3-run homer in the third gave the Mudcats all the runs they'd need, though they added a few more just for good measure.

Rich Hill of Vancouver had the other shutout of the day, though not a complete game. Hill only pitched six innings, but struck out 7 in the 5-0 victory over the Bombers. Hill had been roughed up in his previous two starts - he had a 17.36 ERA entering the game - so it was good to see the lefty right his ship, at least for one start. Troy Percival pitched a 3-inning save, his first since 2005 when he was with the Phoenix Dragons.

Sardine City's Fausto Carmona returned from injury (perhaps a bit early?) and was rocked by the Mighty Men. Carmona lasted only two innings and gave up six runs on seven hits and three walks. Meanwhile Marietta's Daniel Cabrera was brilliant, picking up his first career complete game and holding the Sardines to one earned run on five hits, while striking out eight. Third baseman Ryan Braun committed his sixth error of the season in the game.

Finally, the Rat Pack was dealt their first loss of the season, an 18-5 drubbing by the Sugar Bears. Jack Cust had two home runs and 6 RBIs and Bobby Abreu was 4-6 with 4 runs and 3 RBIs to help the Sugar Bears remind everyone that they are still the team to beat. The two clubs face each other again today - remember that this week they are offering a free preview of the DMBL Extra Innings package!

Rats win 10th straight

The Rat Pack has moved to 10-0 after defeating the Straphangers 14-3 yesterday. It's the best start for Las Vegas since they were bought by owner Eric Wickstrom. Carlos Pena and Jeremy Hermida each had 4 RBIs. Hermida had two homers in the effort, while Pena had one. Orlando Hernandez held the Sardines to only 2 hits over six innings. Sardine City catcher Kurt Suzuki was forced to leave late in the game after hitting a sacrifice fly. Suzuki will sit out until people start to refer to him only as "Kurt", much like Rat Pack outfielder Ichiro Suzuki. "Watching Ichiro on the other bench with his name on his uniform...that's gonna be me too!" said Kurt.

Vancouver broke their five game slide by besting the Falcons 4-2. Mike Lowell hit a two-run homer in the sixth to give the Fist a 3-2 lead. Zack Greinke got the call to replace injured starter Chad Billingsley, but did not make it out of the fifth inning. Tim Wakefield, also pitching for an injured starter (Chuck James), took a tough loss after pitching seven solid innings.

D.C. remained atop the Morris Division after coming back in the ninth inning to topple the Mudcats 6-5. Down 5-3, Adrian Beltre launched a two-run shot to tie the game up and Ryan Zimmerman poked a single to drive the winning run home for the win. Five of the eleven Mudcat games so far this year have been decided by one run - the Cats are 2-3 in those games.

Falcons win first

The Falcons finally broke their winless streak, defeating the struggling Iron Fist 7-6. Arkansas went up 6-4 after the sixth, but Vancouver crawled back to tie it up at six. The Falcons won the game after Kevin Kouzmanoff hit a pinch hit home run leading off the bottom of the ninth. Vancouver's David Ortiz continued his hot streak, going 3-3 with a home run and 3 RBIs.

D.C.'s Derrek Lee led the Slapper offense with 6 RBIs in a 10-4 rout of the Mudcats. The Cats jumped out to a 4-0 lead, but it all fell apart in the eighth inning. Clinging to a 4-3 lead, reliever Brian Fuentes threw a can of gasoline on a fire and then tossed in some firecrackers to boot. Fuentes was responsible for six of the seven runs in that inning, while recording only two outs.

Newark's offense is at it again, smashing the Buddahs by a 19-3 margin. The Sugar Bears had 20 hits and 10 walks. Nick Swisher had 3 home runs and 7 RBIs. Meanwhile, Randy Johnson cruised on his way to his second win of the season, limiting Jersey to only 4 hits, and striking out eight in seven innings.

Matiash to give up DMBL franchise

Arkansas Falcons GM/Owner Mike "Stump" Matiash has refused to bribe the commissioner decided to blow off his DMBL duties this year, preferring to spend his time and money on a fantasy softball league that he's starting up this year. "The time has come for a DMBL-equivalent for softball" said Matiash in a 60 Minutes interview. With his team off to an 0-7 start, many Arkansas fans are clamoring for Matiash to sell the team. Marietta owner David Landsman is championing former owner Adam Kozubal as a possible replacement.

Meanwhile, in Sardine City, the Straphangers have decided to jettison all their prospects in favor of veterans. "Clearly our strategy of drafting young players has backfired" said co-owner Chris Calvosa. "We can no longer make our fans wait for these lollygagging whippersnappers to get up to speed." The Sardines have released young prospects like Evan Longoria, Colby Rasmus, and Joba Chamberlain in favor of veterans like Rich Aurilia, Craig Biggio, Carlos Delgado, and Mike Piazza. "We're pretty confident that we can rebuild the 1997 All-Star team" said Greg Calvosa. "Now if only our team scientist, Dr. Sam Beckett will just finish with that time machine..."

Finally, Tampa Bay Plunkers owner Bill Levesque was seen being carted away by men in white coats and being escorted to the Psychoneurotic Institute for the Very, VERY Nervous after penning some curious conspiracy-related posts to his team's Team Notes page. "They're all in on it!" said Levesque before being locked in the van. "From Matiash, to Garretson, all the way up to Zajac!" Levesque's notes and journals were confiscated by DMBL league officials.

Happy April Fools Day everyone...tomorrow, back to reality.