Anybody else want these? Or should I just give him the keys to the store...

You know we really wanted to give this to someone else. We tried, but you guys have to step it up! Ok, sure the high averages (Dioner Navarro - .464 and Placido Polanco - .462) are nice, but we're going to need a little more. Lance Berkman, nice try with the 12 RBIs and 3 homers, but no cigar. Jack Cust and Casey Blake's 4 home run each are pretty nice, but not exactly eye-popping. Really, guys, he hasn't even finished the last box of cigars we gave him, but we really have no choice but to award this week's JR Cigar's Smokin' Batter of the Week to Aubrey Huff. Yeah, here you go, you greedy bastard, enjoy your Tabantillas. Here's why we couldn't help but to give Mr. Huff the prize: .591 average, .667 OBP, 1.136 slugging, 3 homers, 15 RBIs, 6 runs...and it goes on and on.

Other batters of note: Arkansas' Skip Schumaker (.438/.471/.563, 10 R), Hoboken's Joe Crede (.370/.433/.741, 3 HR), Marietta's Kevin Youkilis (.409/.444/.636) and Sardine City's Miguel Montero (.455/.478/.955).

It was really a two-horse race for the pitcher's prize this week, and yes, both would be repeat winners. Hey, we try to spread the love here at DMBL News as much as anybody, but well, take a look at the stats... Our first contender is Sardine City's rookie extraordinaire, Joba Chamberlain, who was 1-0 on the week with a miniscule 0.67 ERA and 0.75 WHIP, while striking out 18 in 13.1 innings. Contestant #2 is Las Vegas' phenom Tim Lincecum, who also was 1-0, with a tiny 0.64 ERA and 0.93 WHIP, striking out 22 in 14 innings. How the heck do you decide between those two? Well there are no rules against splitting the prize right? And since our sponsor is all about family and togetherness, aw hell, let's give them both the Awkward Family Photos Pitcher(s) of the Week Award! Now if we can just get a nice photo of the two of you hoisting the trophy...

Other notable pitchers: Carolina's Roy Halladay (1-0, 1.08, 0.96 WHIP), D.C.'s Braden Looper (2-0, 2.63, 0.80), Hillsborough's Dan Haren (1-0, 2.57, 1.00), Amityville's Chris Volstad (2-0, 1.42, 0.95), and Philly's Scott Kazmir (2-0, 2.20, 0.86).

Cutters shut out again

Tim Lincecum improved to 12-1 after pitching 7 shutout innings in the Rat Pack's 17-0 dismantling of the Cutters. Lincecum allowed only 5 hits and 2 walks, while striking out 11. Joe Mauer was 3-3 with 2 home runs and 6 RBIs in the game. That's now back to back shutouts against the Cutters. They'll try to cross the plate today against Rich Harden.

The Sugar Bears' 5-game winning streak came to a close at the hands of the Ant Slayers in a 5-2 decision. Chris Volstad pitched 6 strong innings and limited Newark to one run on 5 hits. Alfonso Soriano's 3-run homer in the 7th was the difference maker. Ryan Garko also hit a two-run shot earlier in the game to account for the club's other 2 runs.

Hillsborough picked up a game on 2nd-place Carolina in the first game of the series between the two contenders. Aubrey Huff hit his 27th home run and drove in 5 runs en route to a 7-5 victory.

Huff sets eyes on MVP prize

Yes, we're still recovering from a nice long holiday weekend, but we'll fulfill our solemn duty to name our award winners anyway.

The JR Cigars Smokin' Batter of the Week can go to no other than Aubrey Huff, our first half MVP frontrunner. Sure we'd like to give the award to someone else and spread the love, but when Huff puts up numbers like he does, what can you do? Huff hit .434 with a .500 OBP and .962 slugging (all tops for the two week period). He hit 8 homers, scored 15 runs, and drove in 12.

His competition consisted of Arkansas' David Wright (.390/.463/.780, 6 HR, 18 R, 13 RBI), Hoboken's Adam Dunn (.355/.487/1.097, 7 homers, 9 R, 10 RBI), and Philadelphia's Mark Teixeira (.347/.407/.673, 4 HR, 12 RBI). We have to give a hearty pat on the back ot D.C.'s Casey Kotchman who has admirably filled in for Todd Helton, who is currently on the DL. Kotchman hit .360/.373/.560 this week.

Our Part-time Powerhouse has to be Arkansas' Rick Ankiel who hit 7 home runs in 28 at bats. Ankiel hit .500/.588/1.286, scored 13 runs, and drove in 14 runners. Not bad for a platoon guy!

The pitching side wasn't so cut and dried though, but for the second straight time, we're voting a Sardine City Straphanger to the prize. This time it's lefty Cole Hamels who takes the My Cat Hates You Pitcher of the Week Award. Hamels first start was a 1-0, 1-hit blanking of Amityville. Hamels fell just one out shy of a complete game shutout. But karma is a nasty thing and Hamels ended up on the losing end of another 1-0 duel with Brandon Webb and Philadelphia. Hamels only allowed 3 hits in the complete game loss. In his third start, at least Hamels got some run support - 8 runs in fact! - and got the W in an 8-3 win over Las Vegas. For the two weeks, Hamels was 2-1, with a 1.52 ERA, 0.51 WHIP and 20 strikeouts in 23.2 innings.

Josh Beckett provided the main competition (1-0, 1.52, 0.93 WHIP, 23 K), but there were others: Blue Ridge's Gavin Floyd (2-1, 1.99, 1.01), and Jake Peavy of Vancouver (2-0, 1.48, 1.03).

When the going gets Huff

Aubrey Huff is having one hell of a comeback season. Huff hasn't had a full DMBL season since 2005 with Carolina. It looked likely that he was done as a full-timer, as he barely contributed in 2006 and 2007, totalling 46 at bats in the two seasons. But Hillsborough took a chance at what looked like a washed up veteran and gave him a part-time role last year. Although Huff only had 251 at bats with a .725 OPs, the Hitmen protected him for the 2009 season and soon Huff earned a full-time role again. And he's been tearing it up ever since. Huff currently leads the league in slugging (.732), runs (35), extra base hits (27), and is tied with Ryan Howard for the home run lead (14). He's already won Player of the Week honors once and has finished in the honorable mentions as well. This week he led all players in the statistical triple crown categories: average (.500), on base percentage (.567) and slugging (1.000). He also hit 3 home runs with 8 RBIs and 6 runs scored to capture his second JR Cigars Smokin' Batter of the Week award.

Hot on Huff's heels is Newark's J.D. Drew, who led the league with 5 home runs this week and 14 RBIs, and sported a hefty 1.416 OPS. If not for his weaker .387 batting average, Drew may have been smoking some Belinda Vintage Coronas instead of Huff. Other top batters this week: DC's Jose Reyes (.433/.469/.633, 3 stolen bases, 2 2Bs, 2 3Bs) and Carlos Beltran (.414/.414/.655), Carolina's Grady Sizemore (.500/.524/.900), Hoboken's trifecta of Blake DeWitt (.455/.538/.636), Mike Napoli (.423/.545/.808, 3 HRs), and Denard Span (.414/.469/.621), Las Vegas' Matt Holliday (.414/.471/.897, 10 runs, 9 RBI), Marietta's Josh Hamilton (.407/.448/.741, 3 HR, 7 RBI), Philadelphia's Jimmy Rollins (.424/.441/.636, 10 R) and Albert Pujols (.387/.457/.774, 3 HR), and Vancouver's Victor Martinez (.450/.522/.800).

With all that offense, you know that the pitchers were going to suffer this week. The pickings were slim for Pitcher of the Week candidates, but our esteemed panel decided to select Blue Ridge's Justin Duchscherer as this week's OffensiveParking Pitcher of the Week award. A big park of the Bombers' 5-game winning streak that propelled the team back into the mix, Duchscherer was 2-0 on the week with a 2.87 ERA and 1.02 WHIP in 15.2 innings. Duchscherer, as you may remember, was the first round pick for Blue Ridge in this year's draft, but had gotten off to a rough start, losing his first three decisions and posting a 6.75 ERA after three starts. But since, the Duke seems to have straightened out the ship and now has a respectable 4.44 ERA and 3-4 record. Other pitchers of note this week: Jeremy Guthrie of Hoboken (1-1, 2.19, 0.97 WHIP), Ryan Dempster of Marietta (2-0, 2.19, 1.46 WHIP, 15 K), Scott Kazmir from Philadelphia (1-0, 3.46, 1.08 WHIP), and Las Vegas' Tim Lincecum (2-0, 3.65, 1.70 WHIP, 17 K).

Ankiel, Wagner streak to awards

This week's JR Cigars Smokin' Batter of the Week is easily Rick Ankiel. Ankiel's first 6 hits of the season were all home runs, until he was held to only a double in the second game against Sardine City. He came right back the next day though and hit his 7th home run of the season (along with his first 2 singles), then hit his first triple of the season in the second match of Sunday's doubleheader. For the week, Ankiel hit .391 with a ridiculous 1.174 slugging, 5 home runs, 15 RBIs, and 8 runs scored.

Remember last week's batter of the week, Aubrey Huff? Well he hasn't slowed down since winning the award. In fact, if not for Ankiel's historic feat, Huff could have been an early repeat winner. This week, Huff hit .519 with a 1.148 slugging, 4 home runs, 11 runs scored, 8 RBIs, and 5 doubles. Other notable batters: Marietta's Milton Bradley (.429/.529/.821, 10 R, 10 RBI), Carolina's Dustin Pedroia (.441/.486/.647, 2 HR, 6 R), Philly's Mark Teixeira (.429/.568/.786, 6 RBI, 2 HR), and New Jersey's David DeJesus (.407/.500/.704, 10 R, 2 HR).

This week, we award the ShamWow® Pitcher of the Week Award to Vancouver's Billy Wagner. Wagner saved 5 games in 5 appearances, more than doubling his league lead over the rest of the DMBL relievers. Wagner now has 7 saves on the season. In his 5 appearances, Wagner struck out 6 in 6.1 innings, and allowed only one hit. That's as automatic as you get.

Wags faced some pretty stiff competition, not just from the rest of the league, but from his own teammate. Jake Peavy was 1-0 in two starts, with a 1.50 ERA and 11 strikeouts. The unluckiest pitcher this week has to be Ted Lilly of Blue Ridge who only gave up one run in 13 innings, but only has one loss to show for it. Cliff Lee (0-1, 2.35 ERA in 15.1 innings, 15 K) had a similar fate in Arkansas. Some two-game winners this week: Felix Hernandez of Hillsborough (1.38, 14K), Hoboken's Matt Garza (1.93 ERA), Newark's Chien-Ming Wang (2.30), and New Jersey's Kevin Slowey (1.84, 16 K).

Ankiel makes 'em count

We mentioned that Rick Ankiel recently became the first DMBLer to appear as both a pitcher and a position player. Did you know that Ankiel's first hit in his DMBL career was a home run on Opening Day against D.C.? Well that's nothing... Ankiel is now hitting .400 on the season - 4 hits in 10 at bats and all 4 hits are home runs. That works out to a 1.600 slugging percentage! Well, it goes without saying that Ankiel has earned a little more playing time with this performance. He started the season on the bench and now has landed a role starting against right handers.

Mike Mussina's start against the Sugar Bears wasn't very memorable - 6.2 innings, 4 earned runs, 9 Ks - but it was his 363rd career start, moving him past Kevin Brown for 7th overall. His 9 strikeouts brought him to 1997, three shy of becoming only the 7th to 2000 for their career.

Hillsborough won their 5th straight, a 6-3 victory over D.C. yesterday, sending the Hitmen into first place - percentage points ahead of Vancouver. Aubrey Huff was 3-4 with 2 home runs and 3 RBIs to lead the Hitmen, while Felix Hernandez finally put together a good start (6 IP, 9 H, ER, BB, 5K).

Chad Billingsley stymied the slumping Endzone Animals in a 3-1 victory for Vancouver. Billingsley pitched 7.1 innings, allowing only one run on 5 hits and 3 walks, while striking out 8. Billy Wagner again notched a save, his 5th - tops in the league.

Blue Ridge not only lost the game to Amityville 4-2, but also lost catcher Chris Ianetta to injury for the better part of a month. Batting third in the game, Ianetta took the first pitch for a called strike. Ianetta protested, asking how can a pitch that bounced in the dirt be a strike, but the umpire ignored him. The next pitch came in high over Ianetta's head. Ianetta stared down the pitcher Jon Lester and made some kind of off-colored joke about the pitcher's bout with cancer. Lester then uncorked a pitch in at Ianetta's hands sending him to the ground in obvious pain. Ianetta charged the mound, punching Lester with his injured hand and then screamed in pain when he realized it was the one that the ball hit. Blue Ridge signed DMBL retread Jason Kendall to take his spot on the roster.

Player of the week awards for week 1

This week's JR Cigars Smokin' Batter of the Week has to be Aubrey Huff of Hillsborough. Huff led the league with 6 homers and a 1.032 slugging percentage. He also led the league in runs (12) and OPS (1.489) while batting .389. He's a big reason why the Hired Hitmen are sitting just 1/2 a game out of first after winning their last three games.

Also in consideration this week were Vancouver's Chase Utley, who was second in the league in batting (.475), third in on base (.500) and third in slugging (.850). Utley's former teammate, Andre Ethier, now with Philadelphia, also had a great week - he led the league in hitting .500 and on-base percentage (.576). Other notables: Blue Ridge's Prince Fielder (.406 with 5 homers), Hoboken's Miguel Cabrera (1.257 OPS, 5 doubles), Philly's Albert Pujols (.353/.463/.765 with 10 RBIs and 4 HRs) and Newark's Jason Giambi. Giambi probably makes the list more for one game - Sunday's 12-5 thrashing of Amityville where Giambi hit 3 home runs and drove in 8 runs.

The easy pick for the Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Pitcher of the Week is Roy Halladay of the Carolina Mudcats. The Mudcats were the last standing undefeated team in the league and Halladay did his best to keep it that way. Halladay started the week pitching a 5-hit shutout of the Endzone Animals, striking out 9 and walking 3. But he wasn't done. Halladay also earned a second victory against the Hired Hitmen, pitching 7 strong innings, giving up only one unearned run and striking out 5 Hillsborough batters. Other considerations: Blue Ridge's Gavin Floyd (2-0, 1.15), Las Vegas' Josh Beckett (2-0, 3.21, 14 K) and Rich Harden (1-0, 1.50, 14 K in 2 starts), Hillsborough's Dan Haren (2-0, 2.40, 15 K), Newark's Chien-Ming Wang (2-0, 1.20), and Hoboken's Matt Garza (1-1, 1.32, shutout).