Anybody else want these? Or should I just give him the keys to the store...

You know we really wanted to give this to someone else. We tried, but you guys have to step it up! Ok, sure the high averages (Dioner Navarro - .464 and Placido Polanco - .462) are nice, but we're going to need a little more. Lance Berkman, nice try with the 12 RBIs and 3 homers, but no cigar. Jack Cust and Casey Blake's 4 home run each are pretty nice, but not exactly eye-popping. Really, guys, he hasn't even finished the last box of cigars we gave him, but we really have no choice but to award this week's JR Cigar's Smokin' Batter of the Week to Aubrey Huff. Yeah, here you go, you greedy bastard, enjoy your Tabantillas. Here's why we couldn't help but to give Mr. Huff the prize: .591 average, .667 OBP, 1.136 slugging, 3 homers, 15 RBIs, 6 runs...and it goes on and on.

Other batters of note: Arkansas' Skip Schumaker (.438/.471/.563, 10 R), Hoboken's Joe Crede (.370/.433/.741, 3 HR), Marietta's Kevin Youkilis (.409/.444/.636) and Sardine City's Miguel Montero (.455/.478/.955).

It was really a two-horse race for the pitcher's prize this week, and yes, both would be repeat winners. Hey, we try to spread the love here at DMBL News as much as anybody, but well, take a look at the stats... Our first contender is Sardine City's rookie extraordinaire, Joba Chamberlain, who was 1-0 on the week with a miniscule 0.67 ERA and 0.75 WHIP, while striking out 18 in 13.1 innings. Contestant #2 is Las Vegas' phenom Tim Lincecum, who also was 1-0, with a tiny 0.64 ERA and 0.93 WHIP, striking out 22 in 14 innings. How the heck do you decide between those two? Well there are no rules against splitting the prize right? And since our sponsor is all about family and togetherness, aw hell, let's give them both the Awkward Family Photos Pitcher(s) of the Week Award! Now if we can just get a nice photo of the two of you hoisting the trophy...

Other notable pitchers: Carolina's Roy Halladay (1-0, 1.08, 0.96 WHIP), D.C.'s Braden Looper (2-0, 2.63, 0.80), Hillsborough's Dan Haren (1-0, 2.57, 1.00), Amityville's Chris Volstad (2-0, 1.42, 0.95), and Philly's Scott Kazmir (2-0, 2.20, 0.86).