Not a creature was stirring, except an Endzone Animal

Yeah I know we said we'd take a vacation, but the Endzone Animals just had to wake us out of hibernation.

The Animals have been extremely busy on Christmas Eve Eve, completing three deals in the span of a few hours. The first deal sent third baseman Troy Glaus to division rival Vancouver in exchange for a 5th round draft pick. The acquisition of Glaus likely spells doom for incumbent third baseman Mike Lowell.

Next on the agenda, and the biggest deal of the three, was sending ace pitcher Johan Santana to another divisional rival, Arkansas, in exchange for superstar slugger Alex Rodriguez. Neither player performed up to expectations last season (yes the Falcons expected even more out of A-Rod than a .993 OPS!), so a change of scenery may work out well for both.

Finally, in another deal with a divisional foe, the Animals acquired pitcher Shawn Marcum from D.C. in exchange for two mid-level draft picks. Marcum was 11-8 with a 4.93 ERA last year for the Bushslappers and should slot in to the 4th or 5th spot in the rotation.

Glaus ousted from Newark

The champagne bottles haven't even emptied before the first trade of the season was completed. Newark sent platoon third baseman Troy Glaus to Philadelphia for outfielder J.D. Drew. Glaus returns to the place where it all began. Glaus began his career in 2000 for the Philadelphia Eagle Wings, sharing time at third base with Scott Rolen before being sent in a trade to Columbia before the 2003 season. Newark, who just lost in the DMBL World Series, said they couldn't get Glaus out of there soon enough. "It's all his fault" said Sugar Bears skipper Don Mattingly. "If it wasn't for that miserable bastard, we'd be the ones celebrating." Glaus hit a pathetic .182 in the playoffs, but with a respectable .763 OPS in 11 at bats. "I'm tired of making excuses for Troy" said an irate Butch Garretson after the Series. "Every day 'Oh I didn't get enough at bats' or 'What about Salty? It's downright pathetic." Glaus was puzzled by the statements. "I don't even think I got in enough games to be the sole reason we lost, but I guess they're entitled to their opinions" said Glaus on his way out of the stadium. Incumbent third baseman Chipper Jones is looking forward to taking on both ends of the platoon once more. "At least now I don't have to split my time with that has-been" said Jones. "By the way, he's also a terrorist and he kicks puppies for fun."