Levesque to sell Plunkers franchise

Citing health problems, Tampa Bay Plunkers owner Bill Levesque gave notice to the league that he would not be able to maintain his duties as owner of the Plunkers. He said he would put the Plunkers up for sale immediately and the league will begin searching for a new owner immediately. Levesque's tenure as manager of the Plunkers was characterized by his on-again off-again feud with manager The Severed Head of Ted Williams and wacky shenanigans in the clubhouse. Though this made the day interesting for several Plunkers players, none of them complained about the hijinks. "It kept us on our toes" said shortstop Jack Wilson. "Bill used to come in the clubhouse and play practical jokes on us while we were out on the field playing games" said catcher Jason Varitek. "I remember when he put an idol of Jobu in Tejada's locker and it led to Miggy's drinking problem. Ha ha ha, what a lark." The Plunkers are currently sitting 3 games out of a playoff spot. Will Levesque's departure spark the team to "win one for the Levesquer" or will they fold like a house of cards?

Vegas, Newark, lose aces

Erik Bedard pitched a gem for the Rat Pack (7.1 IP, 3 H, 0 ER, 11 K, 1 BB), but felt some discomfort in his arm after the game. Pitching coach Sam "Mayday" Malone said that Bedard had probably injured it the previous night when he was playing Guitar Hero til 3:00 AM. Bedard will be lost for about a month, or until he beats the game at "expert" level.

Meanwhile, the Rats' rivals lost pitcher James Shields again, shortly after returning from the disabled list. Shields only managed to get through four painful innings before giving way to the bullpen and will probably miss 2-3 starts. In a postgame interview, Shields admits that he may retire. "If Garretson goes, I don't wanna play either" said Shields. "He's my inspiration. I named my son after him." The team psychiatrist is trying to work Shields through the problem, though a restraining order has been filed with Newark's courts.

Marietta shocked Vancouver with a 6-3 victory, despite the Fist's ace Jake Peavy starting the game. Peavy was roughed up for 5 runs in 7 innings as Josh Hamilton smacked 2 homers in the game. The loss snapped Vancouver's 5-game winning streak.

Tampa Bay celebrated the return of their owner with a 5-1 victory over D.C. Andy Pettitte won his 10th of the season and James Loney was 2-3 with a home run and 2 RBIs. Plunker owner Bill Levesque, who had been M.I.A. for the better part of the month and assumed dead, made a triumphant return after being held captive. Levesque, half of his face mysteriously burned off, had a mad look in his eye as he stepped into the team's dugout prior to the game to give a motivational speech.